god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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