dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
They are going to name an STD after you.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
