We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize