If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
do herpes really smell.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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