im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize