last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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