Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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