All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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