based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
