Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
