hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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