she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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