I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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