I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
