I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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