I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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