Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
