when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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