I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
