Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
