i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I looked at my own cervix.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
