People in love make me want to vomit
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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