I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I don't think brook has ever known best
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
