Define "chronic" masturbator.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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