i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
