so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
high people should be assigned attendants
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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