wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize