I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
