Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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