O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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