dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
They are going to name an STD after you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
