y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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