And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
