i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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