he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
