I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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