I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
