I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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