i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
