HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
