I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
