..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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