To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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