I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
