Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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