D3 body, D1 cock
I am puke
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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