i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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