We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
