Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
