I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize