I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
