Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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