fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
