You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
