Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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