i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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