My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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