She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
