I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
