I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
