I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
