You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
