you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
